Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Entertainment Guru: Cloverfun

Yo, it's Entertainment Guru, the he all who be all of movies and sports. I'll be breaking down the latest in movies for you this year.
Big movie #1 is the thriller Cloverfield, the monster was awesome....ok maybe it wasn't but still the plot was awesome....again lackluster (a love story while Manhattan is blowing up? cmon...), but hey the effects were average (now I'm getting it). I'm thinking that some college mascots could wreak more havoc and cause more fear than that retarded fishmonkeyfrog. Now I've done a couple hours of research and this is what I've come up with.

#1 Orange men- It's the classic ghost busters formula. You got a large round guy (this time orange not marshmellow) prancing around messing shit up. Imagine him opening the orange juice flood gates...lights out NYC. The real things you gotta watch out for those small orange seeds I wouldn't even f*** with them.



#2 Fighting Orka's- These mean guys from Delta State are already taking the kids for food. Plus and they don't show the bad ending of this photo shoot...it gets nasty. Where are you Chris Hansen?!


#3 Nittany Lion- Now I am not really sure about this one, but who knows whether the big bad monster is gonna dance around and do a lap dance or bite and rape your ass. All I am sure of is that if I see that flamboyant lion I am gonna run the other way with a plug between my butt.



#4 "Uga"- The Georgia Bulldog is one mean thing, we all know he already almost killed a football player. God only knows what he would do if he was huge, I don't think it would stop at New York kinda like the monster in Cloverfield (sweet jesus). Our only hope is maybe a lot of animal sacrifices or that he chases the big tennis ball the army has stored for such situations.

Oh yes there could be more...honorable mention
The Fighting Pickles of Hawaii-Hilo-I can't stand pickle juice.
TCU Horned Frogs-Since I was a kid always scared of frogs. I can't imagine if they had horns.
The Burger "King"- I know this guy isn't a college mascot but this guy keeps me up for nights. He's looking in your windows, telling you to eat Whoppers. I just don't trust taht shit.
The Stanford "tree"- this thing just weirds me out.

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