Steroids...Bend Over and Take it in the Ass

Wednesday afternoon we saw Roger Clemens get berated before a Congressional hearing on steroids. The way they talked about Clemens and Brian McNamee you wouldve thought they killed someone or sent our country into war under false pretenses. Here at understanding lou though, we want to thank the Rog, McNamee, Barry Bonds, and anyone else who is involved with the illegal distribution and/or use of HGH, steroids or any other performance enhancing drugs. Personally we support the use of PED's and are sick and tired of the witch hunt that Bud Selig and his cronies are performing.

1. Homeruns -If the Mitchell report proved one thing to us it is that every good player of the last 20 years used a PED. Imagine if they hadn't used them. Baseball is pretty boring to begin with and if the players can inject a mixture of Vitamin B12, HGH, and Alka Seltzer into their asses then think how bad it would be. Baseball with no home runs would be like football without the forward pass:boring. The NFL sure as shit wouldn't ban the forward pass and Selig shouldnt let the suits in Congress take the home run out of baseball.

2. The Fans- Chicks dig the long ball? No, chicks dig a chiseled Derick Jeter in boxers. Dudes dig the long ball. If it weren't for steroids we'd have fat out of shape players and zero homeruns, meaning none of the fans would be happy. If Bud wants to let a democratic Congress destroy America's pasttime and hand it over to the terrorists then he's on the right track, but if he believes in freedom then he should give his players the freedom to take as many harmful substances as it takes to be great players.

3. They're Hardworkers- All these players are being looked at as cheaters, but the way we see it, they were hard workers.Let's say you and another worker are vying for a promotion. If that other person drinks red bull to get extra work done and you dont and sleep on the job then you have noone to blame but yourself for not getting the promotion. Thats what HGH and steroids are...red bulls. Don't punish Roger Clemens for going the extra mile to make the Yankees better. No, punish guys like Mario Mendoza who didn't go that extra mile and in the process tarnished the game of baseball with their futility.

Finally, stop saying that its a recent phenomenon. People have used HGH and steroids since the dawn of history. Here are a few:

120 A.D. Maximus- you saw the movie. The guy took on 8 people at once and killed all of them in ten minutes. Then showing his roid rage he decide to attack the crowd. He was a classic steroid abuser, and if we're not mistaken, he brought order back to room. Not so bad of a guy now is he?


1776 George Washington and the Continental Army- they were all taking steroids at Valley Forge. Do you really think that ragtag group could take on the strongest army in the world without a little help? Didn't think so. If you like freedom, then you like steroids.


1945 Josef Stalin- How could you create an Iron Curtain without pumping some iron? Stalin was a habitual steroid user, and while he was a huge prick, he did help stop the Germans....all thanks to his friend Mr. HGH.

2173 Terminator-Yea he didn't do anything for you, ya know...except save the human race from killer robots. Theres only one way he could do that....roids. So you got a choice here, either admit that steroids aren't all bad or just prepare for your robo-overlord to come and eat your brains.

Do you need any more proof? Steroids and HGH are good for baseball, America and the world.